More often than not, there are four walls around me. This is not unusual for a lot of people, most rooms being rectangular, and all, ha ha. Lately though, I’ve been noticing more and more of a self-inflicted fifth wall in front of me. That fifth wall, is this screen. The one I am writing on. It is connected to your screen, the one that you are reading this from. I used to see this screen as a window, an open door to anything in the world, as long as I could think of it, and operate Google without it shutting down on me (which it has been known to do. Evil brilliant Google). Lately, it has morphed into a wall, a solid brick wall, held together with misunderstandings.
More often than not, I find myself observing arguments and people being generally rude over the Internet. I don’t really have anything to say about these people, and to be honest, I quite enjoy e-drama, and this is not about that. This is about communicating, not with your enemies, but between friends.
No matter how much you try in “real life,” misunderstandings happen every day, with the people you love. Now, try sticking a computer screen and thousands of miles between you. Even more things get misinterpreted, which can make things awkward. It’s really not fair, but what can you do?
Well, I suppose you can try extra hard. But really, how are you supposed to convey what you actually feel in a short message? For example, one of my favourite ways to keep track of my friends is through Facebook. I did it, while I was away, and continue to find it as a valuable ressource now. But, how am I supposed to express what I’m feeling to these darling people in my life that I can’t see, through something as simple as a “I LUURVE YOU!” message on their “Wall?” I can’t, and it’s sad.
With my Katimavik friends (family, more like), I can feel us growing further and further apart each day. Our schedules are so different that we never talk. Same with my friends in Calgary. It’s frustrating, and I’ve found that I’ve turned to more “online,” friends. The problem is, that it seems kind of doomed from the start. I can’t even keep track of my friends in this city, nor my friends scattered across the country, how can I begin to even consider the rest of the world? But it’s too late for that, because I actually have come to enjoy communicating with these people. These “online” friends. Many of whom are probably reading this, now that I think about it (when I started writing this I never actually considered anyone reading…).
Ugghh. Anyway, that’s enough of this babbling, I’m sure. I don’t even know if any of this makes sense at all, but I hope at least part of it does, and I hope maybe someone out there understands what I’m trying to say.
I understand a little what you mean. Online communication can be hard, really, and there’s nothing worse than hurting someone’s feelings from a remark that you would have laughed about and forgot were you talking. There’s just…as much as computers and the internet have progressed, there’s still no way for text to escape the dilution of its form. No tone, no warmth, no suggestive eyebrow wiggling (when called for)…Despite all that, some of the best friends I’ve ever had I’ve met online, and it always saddens me when I lose one to life. Their lives matter to me, even if I only get to be a small part of it. I mean, right now, I’m still reeling because someone that’s part of an online forum I’ve visited for 5 years (not even a friend really, just someone I know) let out that he impregnated his 15 year old girlfriend. It’s amazing the amount of anger and dismay and disappointment that announcement had on me, really. It affects me in only the slightest way, but I still want to grab him by the lapels and backhand him and yell “what were you thinking!” into his face.
…I think I started rambling, there. >_>
Summation: Friends are neat, online or off. Text sux.
There is definitely a greater potential for misunderstanding online. And the thing is, you probably don’t get to see all sides of another person over the Internet. But I think it’s a bit easier online, too. I’m not sure why.