I’ve been rather upset these last few days, thinking about how optimistic I was about this year (seriously, I was giddy and naive) and how… let down, I was, to say the least. The very least.

This year sucked. I spent most of the year feeling sad and lost and confused. My dad had a total of 3 strokes. I lost someone important to me early in the year and I’m still sad about it, as woefully pathetic as that is. I can’t remember vivid details from February until about the end of July– it’s like a blurry haze. It sucked, it sucked, it sucked.

Reflecting on the year has actually sort of begun to suck me into a dark hole, but today I had a bit of a breakthrough. I was focusing way too much on the negative, because really, I’ve accomplished a tonne.

Firstly, I learned not to take friends and family for granted. With health scares with my father and other family members, I began to realize that these people who have been in my life for… well, my whole life, aren’t going to be around forever. I’ve spent the last little bit musing over how old I am now (I mean, 21 is a lot of years), but it never really clicked into my mind that anybody else was getting old along with me! And then, with the huge falling out with the person I considered to be my best friend… now I’m just reminded of all the stupid shit that we fought about, when I should have just been eternally grateful to have someone so amazing in my life. It sucks, but it’s a lesson I had to learn, I guess. Definitely wish I could have learned it without losing her, and I wish I could fix it more than anything.

ANYWAY, enough sap, and on to the happiness.

Secondly, somehow, although I was in a deep dark emo pit of emo, I gained some sort of drive and determination to get myself out of it (I suppose it’s a testament to how strong I actually am… That even when things seem the absolute worst, I can strive to improve it.), stuck my nose to the proverbial grindstone (and locked my wallet away, and lived in frugality) and managed to save my entire first year’s tuition in 4 months, applied (and assembled a nice portfolio) and was accepted to post secondary, studying something I absolutely LOVE. And since September, 2009 hasn’t been crappy at all! I have fun, and I keep busy (and I thrive when I’m busy).

To summarize the blabbering, 2009 sucked. BUT, I learned and accomplished a lot, and for that reason I’m stoked to shelve it in the “Most Influential Years of My Life” section of the Story of Aisling, along with 1988 and 2007. :)

Happy New Year, guys! Be safe, but HAVE FUN.